graduation speech

It was the summer of 2001. I sat with 12 other classmates and cried, as I looked down at a beautiful black lab sitting at my feet. Not only did she lay at my feet but she changed my life. For real. A dog. Changed my life. Forever.
Today, I sit amongst 8 other classmates and look down and see another gorgeous, black lab laying at my feet.
Going through team training 10 years ago was the hardest thing I have ever done in my life but the most rewarding.
My disability, Freidriech's Ataxia, has stolen so much from me but has given me so much more. And one of those gifts comes from Canine Partners for Life in a form of a dog.
So, 10 years later with the progression of FA and a few more wrinkles, I endured 3 weeks of a intense team training yet again. I had set a goal early on that I wouldn't compare Barkley with Delsie. Barkley has some pretty big paws to fill. Today, I am able to look down at my feet and KNOW the hope Barkley will add to my life. This guy has won me over. I am thrilled that CPL has trusted me with him. I am determined to not let them down.
There are no words that seem adequate to express my sincere thanks for the gift of Barkley. There are many people who have made the fight against this dreaded disease possible. Some of you, I may never meet. You may never understand the impact you have made to make this partnership with Barkley possible. It is because of Barkley, FA is no longer scary or lonely. In a bizarre way, the gift from CPL has made living with FA a lot of fun.
I am eager to return to my life in Michigan with Barkley. The poor guy doesn't have a clue what he is about to get into...(I am sure Delsie will fill him in) I look forward to doing life with this incredible black lab. Yes, I was nuts to do this again. It is hard. Really hard. But I would be crazy not to do it again. What FA has taken from me, Barkley has already given back.
Graduation is bittersweet- for both of us. We have to say good-bye to the people who have changed our lives. Some, who know me and some who only know Barkley...you have changed my life. Forever.
But it's because of him, I have hope.
So, although it sounds so trite-Thank you. Those of you who have made this partnership possible, you have given me my life back in a form of a dog; this handsome, black lab laying at my feet named Barkley.

November 3, 2011

It is with absolute certainty that I feel I am able to make a trip like the one today to Philly by myself. The thing that made it a challenge for me was traveling with that many people and their dogs. I know from my partnership with Delsie how simple and enjoyable it is to travel. Today, I have to admit, was not. I did enjoy and felt a tinge of normalcy when a good friend of mine met me at the market for lunch. It was disappointing how quickly the time went but never the less, it was great to see her.

November 2, 2011

I thought I was pretty busy until I went through this team training! It will be nice to get my life back and get Barkley use to his new life. As far as him getting bored- I will try my best to not make that happen. The most down time he will have is while I am on the phone in my office. I will have a basket of bones and kongs for him to chew. My work is flexible so I will be able to work the DOB and even have play time with him when I am at work. It will be a good idea to find some jobs for him to do at work. At home we will keep busy with Delsie, family and friends. Just thinking about it makes me anxious to get back in the swing of things. I just wish I wasn't going back to the cold weather.

November 1, 2011

Last stop was GiggyBites to get Barkley more yummy treats. It is amazing how dependant I have become on my clicker and treats during this training with Barkley. I didn't even use treats with Delsie- she was so eager to please. Barkley? I feel like short of dancing on the top of my head, he could care less whether or not he does something for me. It makes me feel like I should be doing more or it better. I don't remember being tested like this when I came out to train with Delsie. His looks can be deceiving- he is stubborn. Gosh, I hope this improves...it is such a challenge. I fear being at work and Barkley cops an attitude and time is of the essence and he won't complete a task...now, I am cocooned in the comfort of training and doing nothing else. Thankfully, this is really draining. Stephanie at GiggyBites commented to me after she witnessed Barkley's stubborn streak-"I'm glad he's a successor dog."

My greatest challenge was at the very end of the day when I was asked to do a "go pay" with Barkley. I had to fight against shutting down as I was beyond tired after fighting him in the mall. I knew Barkley was exhausted and I dreaded doing it with him. I know I need to approach this differently but I didn't have it in me right then.

I was most proud of Barkley when he finally held my wallet and carried past two stores. I think the whole mall heard me command a "hold" and I kicked it into high gear.

A funny thing happened today at the mall involved a statue AGAIN. They had a display for Christmas that involved a old man holding a cane...Barkley freaked. There was no way to convince him that it wouldn't jump out and hurt him. He turned into Darlene's dog during that stop.

Not much shopping happened- however, Barkley made out- big time.

October 31, 2011

I feel like a gain I had this team training would be the ability not to fixate on my separation from Delsie or even compare my partnership with her to Barkley. I am trying my best to cherish this time I have with him and trust that Delsie is having a great time keeping my dad company. I do miss her tons but compared to how I felt the beginning of team training until now is a significant gain. The other tool I have learned to refine in my partnership with Delsie has been that of patience, praise and persistence. Three "p" words that have helped me during this team training with Barkley. These words also apply to the area in which I need to focus on with Barkley. He is very strong willed when it comes to retrieving. I need to consistently work with him on this and remind myself that one day he will cave and actually retrieve something for me.

October 30, 2011

Okay, so it seems that I don't have to go back home today. My mom is slept in a little longer and fed me in her pajamas. Mata was still in bed when I ate, too. Strange. All I hear is people talking about snow. I think I love the stuff so I don't know why everyone is freaking about it. My mom told me that I was going to meet TJ today- I guess he's coming to the movies with us. That white stuff came and so did TJ- not sure why he won't pet me. I would love to give him some lovin'- I can tell my mom is excited to spent some time with him. We loaded up in the van and dropped Mata off at a huge store while TJ and my mom made me sit under a table while they ate. We went back to that store and we met Mata and walked around. Everyone was staring at me and talking to my mom about me. It seemed like someone even called me Nelson so I just ignored him. We went back "home" (the other place I'm staying) and we all fell asleep. I am so tired. TJ must be too cuz he was snoring. My mom fed me and we relaxed some more. It doesn't look like we're going to the movies. I went with them to another place that I had to go under the table while they ate again-they eat a lot. They kept talking about the weather while that snow kept falling to the ground. TJ left and my mom and I played and cuddled before we went to bed. It was a fun, relaxing day.

October 28, 2011

This is a no brainer. The most challenging aspect of the trip to the zoo was the 50 million kids who were there. Not because they were bothering Barkley but because they were bothering me. I seriously do not remember the first half of the zoo. It was next to impossible to looks at the animals, let alone navigate through the LOUD kids. It was insane. I shut down way before Barkley did. As a matter of fact, he did great with the madness. During the reptile & amphibian house, he just plopped down to take a nap when I stopped in front of the snake. He seemed quite laid back until we got to the otters. He was beside himself. I had a death grip on his leash as he wanted more than anything to join their play. From that point on, Barkley came alive. When we arrived at a statue of a bear with water coming out of its nose, Barkley lost his mind. He couldn't figure it out even after Eric's attempt to persuade him that it wasn't alive. Another statue later on in the zoo caught his attention as well. There was no turning back - he was a bit spastic from that statue on...

after the kids left the zoo, the experience was entirely different. I actually enjoyed it. And I think Barkley did too.